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in a highly readable online article on Jean-Paul Sartre* – it was revealed that the famous 20th century French influencer found inspiration for his bleak philosophy called “existentialism” – in movie theaters – or rather – when the movie ended and the lights came back on

that shock demarcation between the world of the imagination and of reality – made him realize that he lived a very different life from the ones in the movies – that he & the rest of humanity lived a life without the strong purpose dramatized on the screen – and from there his reasoning leaped a large chasm – landing on the conclusion that there – must – NOT – be – a – god

reverse engineering that chain of reasoning – Sartre must have assumed that only a god provided him (and everyone else) with a vital sense purpose – and that perceived loss of purpose haunted him for the rest of his angst-ridden life – until – supposedly – on his deathbed – he kinda – almost – found god again

i had a similar experience when i was still in my teens or twenties – after reading a scifi short story – unfortunately i can’t recall the name or the author – it involved a man entering an alien spacecraft that landed or crash landed on earth – he emerged in a Sartre-like torpor after going thru a cosmic revelation inside the craft – and learning the universe had no god – and therefore we had no purpose in life – leaving me in a Sartre like state

but unlike Sartre – i rebounded – my skepticism of gods & religion grew under the elucidating powers of curiosity & observation & logic – i grew comfortable with a godless universe – and with a lack of a divine purpose – so that when i later underwent a movie house epiphany – it was the opposite of Sartre’s

what i learned from watching movies – was the artificially of the life depicted on screen – and not only there – but any fictional format – – i realized that most stories formed around a character – or an ensemble – with a mission – a motive – a purpose – with most of the mundane parts of life passed over – so that the depicted stream of events zoomed by – with more clarity of purpose – then in a normal messy life

i realized that grand purposes were ubiquitous in fiction – with only a minority taking a different route – such as “splice of life” tales

before my epiphany – i wished my life could be more like the movies or stories – i imagined participating in exciting missions that fiction assured me i would almost certainly survive – and be appropriately honored (especially by girls) – or alternatively – i might get caught up in a story about a righteous mass movement of some sort – where i might die a noble death

this could be explained from the darwinian point of view – evolution may have favored societies with young people who become engrossed in such tales – involving ambition – the accomplishment of magnificent goals – those heroic achievements are the human equivalent of animal displays for sex – they are signs of the alpha member in a society – thereby best for breeding offspring – and capable of protecting them to maturity

but i never became an alpha member – and in time – i recognized that my real life had been and will continue to be blander than fiction and fantasies

being demoted to ordinariness did put me thru a rite of passage – with a series of panic attacks lasting several months – – middle age panic attacks are usually attributed to biochemical changes – but i wonder if a change of outlook can contribute to it – like a crash landing on reality – “welcome to your banal life – it make take awhile – but you’ll see that it’s not so bad”

after the panic attacks – came a surprising placidity – i came to accept the ordinary state of my life – with almost a zen-like state of mind – like mindfulness in today’s culture – a secular & rational form of it

it could be that acceptance of a simple life must be an important phase of a human journey – this awareness of being a part of nature – may be the long sought nirvana – with the acceptance of mundane reality leading to the peace of mind that eluded Sartre – he got clobbered by reality instead

this perception involves accepting that we are descendants of the active chemical compounds of early earth – that evolved to become plants and animals – when you watch creatures live and die – when you see them struggle to survive – to mate and reproduce – and ultimately to expire – that’s you at your most basic level

but as complex animals – we possess extra layers of instincts – as social animals – those are compounded

early thinkers can be excused for not seeing the real purpose of lives in other animals – it took science – particularly evolution – to show that our nature is an animal nature

even tho Sartre was born in the scientific era – he never seemed to take evolution into account – he never thought of just accepting the notion that his life could be as stark as more primitive creatures – instead he struggled to recover his lost god-given purpose

altho once his god died – he realized that people needed to invent their own purposes and rules to live by – or choose from traditional ones common in society – he may have come to this conclusion out of desperation

but finding personal missions is the inevitable lifestyle for those who live in a godless universe – we make tiny missions as we go about our daily lives – and make larger ones too

this is a part of our complexity – most creatures have simple lives – simple missions that aren’t a conscious decision on their part

early chemical compounds performed actions cuz that’s what many chemical compounds do – some of those chemical compounds reproduced – unaware and accidentally – some of those formed cells – unaware and accidentally – and some of those cells formed more complex creatures – unaware and accidentally – even the most complex creatures struggle to live – unaware – and reproduce – not so accidentally

even humans start out with a naiveté that resembles most animals – and follow the same impulses for survival & reproduction – except humans have the mental capacity to do much more – yet only a fraction start to do so

that simplification of living won’t be for everybody – some like Sartre crave grand missions – human societies offer them mass movements – political or religious – or maybe starting a tech company

poor Sartre – he depended on a god – which is unlikely to exist – or if it does – has been unwilling to unequivocally make itself or its intentions known

but living without a god makes thinking about life so much easier – we’re freed from second guessing the vague & questionable pronouncements that religions express – instead we only need to remember that we emerged from the material of the big bang – and live our lives like our chemically compounded ancestors – floundering around and surviving and reproducing – until our chemical activity burns out – and we decompose back into our atomic constituents

many people will despair at that stark realization – they will need to adjust to it – – that realization – and not the lack of divine purpose – is more likely what shattered Sartre – it didn’t have to – he needed to think more deeply

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* “Jean-Paul Sartre and the Meaning of Life” by Mervyn Bendle – Australia’s Quadrant magazine (Oct 2023) – https://quadrant.org.au/magazine-issue/2023/october-2023/